Why Can't I Hear My Intuition?

Why can’t I hear my intuition?

Sarah Vermunt: [00:00:00] How do you feel about intuition? Can you connect with yours? Do you trust it to help guide your life, your decisions? Now here's a trickier question. How do you feel about using intuition in your career?

Ah, different answer maybe. Right. You know, it's interesting. A lot of people who are comfortable with using their intuition in their life. To navigate relationships, for example. Are less comfortable with using it in their career. And so today we're going to talk about why that is, why people struggle to connect with and follow intuition in their careers. And how you can lean a little more into your intuition. 'cause I'll tell you a little secret. Intuition. It's there to help. 

Let's [00:01:00] go.

Welcome to Careergasm. This is a place to help you find your way to feel good work. I'm Sarah Vermunt and I help people navigate their careers. I'm a career coach, a best-selling author. And my work has been featured at places like Forbes, fortune Inc entrepreneur and fast company. On this show, we talk about career navigation and career change, and specifically. The human side of work, where their professional is personal. We have heartfelt nuanced conversations about navigating your career, including all of the squishy feelings that come along with being a human at work. Thanks for listening. I'm glad you're here. I am [00:02:00] so excited about this conversation. Uh, for those of you who may be caught. Uh, what was it? The audio diary episode two episodes ago. You may remember me talking about wanting to. Lean more into intuition in my work. Um, and specifically helping people develop their intuition more as a part of the work I do. It's interesting as a career coach and specifically someone who helps people make career changes for a lot of my work. You know, really ultimately when you boil it all down. What I've actually been doing for a decade or so is helping people connect with their intuition. Helping people figure out what the hell they actually want. And helping them trust the part of them that knows. Even if it doesn't make sense to them. And so for the next couple of [00:03:00] episodes, we're going to be talking about intuition. 

We're just going to go ahead and tumble down that rabbit hole because I happen to believe that intuition is one of the. Strongest most powerful tools that you can use. To navigate your career. And it's so interesting that, we're very often willing to use it in other parts of our lives, but when it comes to career, There's it's almost like there's a bit of caution tape. Around our intuition and we're less likely to use it and trust it. And that is a mistake in my opinion. 

And so we're going to get into that. So today. Just as an introduction to this intuition 1 0 1, if you will. I want us to talk a little bit about. What intuition is. And. The things that sometimes get in our way. Around intuition in our careers. So the way I [00:04:00] like to think about intuition is that it's really. Really what it is is it's our inner knowing separate from logic. 

That's how I like to think of it. And, and really, I think intuition and logic make great. Partners. For navigating life and they make great partners for navigating your career. You do need both, but are very often what happens in career specifically. For whatever reason. We tend to lean way too heavily. Into what we believe is logic. 

But very often, I think what we think logic is, is actually more. Fear. Masquerading as logic, fear, masquerading as rationality. And so sometimes when let's say someone is, is spinning [00:05:00] out about some sort of career decision. They say to themselves, well, like I have to be logical about this. I have to be practical about this. 

And what they don't realize is that they're not leaning into logic. 

Really sometimes what happens is a person believes that they're leaning into logic, but they're letting fear override their decision-making. And so. You want to find a balance of intuition and logic as you're making career decisions? And the logical stuff is something we already have a ton of practice with. So. In this little series I'm going to be doing on intuition. 

I really want to help you develop. That muscle, because for most of us. It's rather atrophied or for some of us it's never really been developed in the first place. So, this is really about. Finding and following your own [00:06:00] breadcrumbs in your career. And leaning in. To that. Inner knowing that is separate from your logic. 

And to do that, what's probably most helpful is to talk about. Why we struggle to connect with intuition. So let's go there first. There are a handful of reasons. I've noticed why we might struggle to connect with our intuition. One is that where we're just not able to notice it. Like sometimes I talk to clients and they're like, listen, I would love to follow my intuition, but like, I just, I just can't feel it. 

It's like, do I not have this? I'm not, I'm not like getting any insights about what I should be doing. And so. We'll want to talk a little bit about the language of intuition. And the tricky thing about intuition and why a lot of people struggle to notice it. Is because the language of [00:07:00] intuition is whispers. And nudges. Intuition, doesn't usually show up in neon lights. 

And so it's, uh, it's kind of a subtle thing that we need to have. Space to notice and that we need to pay attention to. So just noticing intuition can be a real struggle for some people. Then there are people who struggled to. Trust their intuition. So they're noticing it there. They're getting the occasional little whisper and nudge. But for a lot of people. 

And I think this is especially true in career navigation. For a lot of people, intuition doesn't feel safe. And so a lot of people get these glimmers of intuition, these little whispers and little nudges. But it's interspersed with waves of anxiety. So it's like they get these little glimmers, they sort of get a [00:08:00] sense of what's right for them. 

But then that fear and anxiety swoops in and sort of takes over. So they don't really trust. The little nudges that they're getting. That's another area that people struggle with. And then there are folks who notice their intuition. 

They sense that it is right for them, like whatever their intuition is telling them is right for them. 

So they do trust it. But they are not able, for whatever reason, they're not able to act on it. They're not able to like, actually take. Action in the direction of their intuition. And so it's almost like they, they've got a lot of dissonance like this internal push pull feeling because they, they really know and trust that something needs to happen. But they're just not doing it. 

That's actually a really painful place to be. 

And then there are some folks. And this is [00:09:00] related to noticing your intuition. There are some folks who, without knowing it. So this is something they do unknowingly. An unintentionally. But some folks won't even allow their intuition to come up. So this isn't usually something that people are doing consciously. But they're unknowingly and unintentionally committed to ignoring their intuition or blocking it. 

Like there's something about whatever intuition, nudges are coming up that feels threatening to them. So they're just not even going to allow it. So, those are sort of like four areas where I've noticed. Some people tend to struggle with their intuition, particularly in their career. And so today I'd like to talk about a couple of those. And first, I want to start by talking about noticing. And allowing your intuition and then we'll get into trusting your intuition a little bit. There are some [00:10:00] common barriers to noticing your intuition. And the first thing I want to say is. They are almost always unintentional. And so if you have some of these barriers, It's not your fault. These are usually just things in life that get in the way, but they are barriers to your intuition. So these are probably things you want to start, maybe noticing and adjusting. 

Okay. If intuition is something that you want to connect with a little bit more to guide your decisions. First thing. And, you know, you saw this coming. First thing is distraction. When you are living life. At a hundred miles a minute. When your life is very full when your life is extremely busy. It is going to be hard. For you to hear the whispers and nudges. And unfortunately we live in a world. [00:11:00] In a society. That encourages us to live. At a hundred miles a minute. It encourages us to do all of the things and fill up every scrap. Every little piece of our time and attention. With something. Uh, and, and it's gotten to the point where many of us are, are doing multiple things at once. Have you ever sat down to, to, to watch something on Netflix and you put it on. But, yeah, but you're like a little bored because you're used to your mind being really busy. 

So you're also picking up your phone. And you're scrolling on your phone while you're watching another thing. Is it any wonder? That you're not able to hear your intuition when we are constantly bombarded. By multiple inputs for our attention. So this is something. That from most of [00:12:00] us is probably the primary thing that blocks our intuition. And intuition needs stillness. It needs quiet. 

It needs space in order to surface for the most part. Now, listen, if you have a really busy life, sometimes your, your intuition response will get so strong. That, if there are no windows for it to come through, it'll come through in other ways. This is when people get sick, get injured. It's when the mind body connection just shut something down completely. So that you have to stop and you have to pay attention. Uh, this has happened to me a couple of times, a couple of times in my life. Can't say I recommend this way. Of doing things. If it's happened to you as well, you know, it's really not the best way to draw your attention to something. So distraction, big, big struggle area for some people. So the most obvious fix is making [00:13:00] space. Right. So making. Some intentional space for intuition. And honestly, like one of the easiest ways I have found to do this. Uh, and I do this myself on a regular basis is just like, Going for an undistracted walk. 

So like, even if it's literally just 10 minutes, I did one this morning, actually just a little 10 minute walk around the block. Where I'm not looking at my phone. And I'm not listening to music or a podcast or whatever. It's literally just me. Myself, my surroundings and my thoughts. So it's like a solo stroll. And there's something about that that gives. MI. Space. And sometimes when there are space, that's when the ideas will rush in. 

That's when the little nudges will rush in. It's like, it's like, it's like if, um, it's like, if your brain was a, was a home [00:14:00] that was really stuffy. It's just like opening a window for a couple of minutes to let some fresh air and. So that's a really easy thing to start experimenting with is like, how about a 10 minute walk where you're you don't have something in your ears or your eyeballs on something? 

Something else that helps specifically for my clients. 

When we're talking about intuition is separating what you notice, what comes up, what your intuition is telling you. For example, I help people with career changes. So separating, noticing what you're drawn to. Or what you're curious about for the next phase of your career, separating that from deciding or doing? 

When I take people through my career change program. We have like separate phases we go through and we have like a nice long phase. Of just noticing and becoming self-aware and exploring. Before we [00:15:00] get into the work of deciding and doing, and here's why that can be so helpful. And why I suggest you try this. There is something about giving yourself permission to just notice and allow what comes up. In an organic natural way. Without immediately moving to that sort of deliberation phase. 

The should I shouldn't I phase. Or maybe I should take action on this or no, I can't do this because of X, Y, and Z. Just letting those thoughts, surface and marinate for awhile before having to take action on them. And before having to make a decision on them. Makes the rising of those thoughts makes the rising of the whispers and nudges the intuition bubbling upward. It makes it less threatening. If, you know, you don't have to do anything with it right away. So that is something that I recommend you try. 

If there's a big decision you're weighing, or if there's something you're trying to feel out. [00:16:00] How about giving yourself some space, just to notice how you feel about it and to notice what ideas come forward. Before you put pressure on yourself to make any decisions about it or make any moves on it. A real game changer. 

So that's noticing and allowing, right. 

We we've noticed that some common barriers are things like distraction and numbing. And really what we need to do to start shifting that a little bit is give ourselves some space. For the intuition to come forward. Then there's trusting. Intuition. 

This is for folks who feel like, okay, I I'm getting a few of the whispers and nudges, but it doesn't feel safe. So if you're someone for whom intuition doesn't feel safe. It means that you need to tend to your fears probably a little more than you already are. 

Uh, and first of [00:17:00] all, I want to say fear isn't the enemy fear is almost always trying to help us. But what we do when we notice fear coming up. So let's say you have like a little intuitive nudge about something. But what your intuition is saying, it scares the shit out of you. What a lot of people do is they just try to push the fear down. 

They're like, oh, I'm feeling this uncomfortable feeling. And I don't want to feel it. So, what we often do is we dismiss. Or override or acquiesce to our fear. And so. What I think is quite helpful is to. 

Think of this, this sort of working with intuition as something that's like you can do on parallel tracks. 

So. You can notice and nurture your intuition. And you can also invite your fears to the table. To calmly. Voice the concerns they have, you [00:18:00] know, fear usually, carries a megaphone, right? So usually when fear shows up, it's very loud. And it's, it's kind of like fear is kind of like a screaming baby, right? 

If there is a screaming baby in the room, there's not a lot else that you can focus on. And so what we need to do is to tend to that screaming baby first, before we make any other moves. So what I mean by inviting fear to the table is not. Letting fear take over. It's having a conversation with your fear saying like, okay, Like we obviously have some fear about this. 

Like, can we get specific about what the fears are? And, the more you have that conversation with your fear, the more you will understand. In what ways the fear is trying to protect you. And then you can have a balanced conversation with the intuitive parts of you and the fearful parts of you. Because they're both trying to help. Okay. So something that can help [00:19:00] is noticing what your fear is paired with. 

Noticing when the fear comes up around something you're having an intuitive nudge about. You can ask yourself. Okay. Is this fear paired with aversion or anticipation? If your fear is paired with a version, kind of like a, oh, like a Feeling like you want to lean away from it. That probably means from an intuitive standpoint, this thing is, is a no go. 

This is a, this is a yuck. This is probably not a direction you should move in. But sometimes fear is paired with. Anticipation and intrigue it's like, Ooh, there's this thing that, that you're having some fear around or some anxiety around. You're a bit scared of it, but also. You notice that the fear isn't making you want to stop thinking about this thing and your curiosity around this thing isn't going away. 

So [00:20:00] that's that combination of fear and anticipation. That's an interesting thing to notice from an intuitive perspective. It's like, huh? I just have this combo of things. This sort of push pull feeling here. And that probably means that this is something you should look into a little more. Because it's a sign that even despite the fear, there might be something here for you. 

And in those cases, it's really worth just gently excavating your fear, softening its edges. So maybe you can take a toe dip in this area that you're curious about. 

Now. Sometimes I get the question from people. Is this intuition or is this anxiety? And I think it's such an interesting question. Something that can help you sort that out. Is. Asking yourself. [00:21:00] Okay. Does what I'm hearing, what I'm noticing. Does it have a story? Like, is it spiraling in some ways? Does it have some sort of long drawn out story about what's going on here? If it has like a spirally feeling or there's like a story underneath it. It's more likely that that's fear and anxiety and not intuition. 

I have found. And this may not be true for you, but it's true for a lot of people. I found that intuition tends to speak in short sentences. In few words with no particular agenda, it's a very calm. Clear sort of thing. It might say something like. Nope, not this way. When you're pursuing something that isn't right for you. Or it might say something like. Try this. You see how there's not a story there. 

There's no spiraling. [00:22:00] It's very clear and very direct. 

But it also doesn't come with a lot of detail. It's almost like, um, It's almost like a compass pointing in a particular direction. Instead of precise GPS coordinates, it will be simple and it will point you in a particular direction. Without a lot of details. That's usually what intuition feels like.

Now sometimes people. Are afraid. That intuition isn't practical. 

But. But really. I really want to make a case. Four. Intuition as a deeply. Practical thing, particularly when you pair it with logic. 

Because sometimes in, in [00:23:00] logic, there are some blind spots. So for example, sometimes when we're doing some sort of. Risk assessment around a decision we're going to make. We really only look at the risk of taking action. We don't take a look at the risks of inaction. Very often, for example. So there are some blind spots and sometimes. Intuition. Helps us understand. Even in the absence of logic, it doesn't help us understand. 

It helps. Push us nudge us in a particular direction. Even if it doesn't make sense. And so it's really helpful as a navigational tool. And sometimes the way I, I like to think of this pairing of intuition and logic. Is that. Intuition should be. In charge of overall guidance, like which direction we should go. And [00:24:00] logic is a great navigator. It's the one holding the map and deciding which route, how and when and where to make the turns. And so. It's an interesting way to think about. Bringing your intuition. Into your awareness a little bit more and using it. As a partner for your logic for your rational mind. To share a little bit of that weight. Around decision-making. 

So that's just a little introduction to intuition. And a bit of an introduction to why it is so darn hard to connect with, especially when it comes to using it in our careers. I'm going to keep going with this intuition series for a little while for the next couple of episodes. And so here's a little preview of some of the things [00:25:00] that we're going to talk about around intuition. We are going to talk about learning the language. Of intuition. In other words, how to notice it and nurture it more. Also how to trust it more. We'll talk about untangling, some of the conditioning that might have you fighting your intuition. Cause you've ever feel like you have a battle with your intuition. There's a very good reason for that. 

And all of us have. Various little bits of our conditioning that we had as children and through life that sometimes pit us against our own intuition. So we will talk about that. 

And importantly, we will talk about how to develop deeper. Self-trust. And start taking more intuitive actions. 

I can't wait to continue this conversation with you. Thanks for listening today. I'll see you next time. 

[00:26:00] Hey, Hey, still here. I am developing a program for people. All about noticing, nurturing and using intuition in your career. If you would like for me to let you know when that is live. You can hop on over to the show notes and just leave me your email address. I'll put a little link there for you. And I can give you a heads up when that's open. 

And so you can make sure that you get invited to that. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time.