Audio Diary: Coming Out as Clairvoyant

Audio Diary: Coming Out as Clairvoyant

Sarah Vermunt: [00:00:00] Uh, okay. 

It's time for another audio diary episode. Because there's this thing I've been. On the edge of doing for months and months. And I have been stalling for a couple of reasons. One waiting for a little more clarity about what this thing looks like. Too. And I really want to emphasize number two. Uh, got a lot of fear around it. Uh, this thing I want to make this thing I want to do, I probably feel more fear about this thing. 

Than anything else I've made before and I've made a lot of stuff. 

So. I mean, you'll see, you'll get it. I'll get into it. 

I think it's like hilarious and also. Perfect. That I help people [00:01:00] with fear and uncertainty for a living. 

Because the part of me, like the wise career coach, part of me knows exactly what's going on with me and exactly what to do about it. And. You know, my, my scared squishy human self is. 

Um, 

like it has as much fear and resistance as anybody else, like, just because I help people with this for a living doesn't mean that I'm immune to it personally. So. I feel like I'm stalling. And dancing around the thing I want to talk about instead of talking about it. So let's just get into it. 

Welcome to Careergasm. This is a place to help you find your way to feel good work. I'm Sarah Vermunt and I help people navigate their careers. I'm a career coach, a best-selling author. And my work has been featured at places like [00:02:00] Forbes, Inc. Fortune entrepreneur, and fast company. On this show, we talk about career navigation and career change. And specifically the human side of work. Where the professional is personal. We have heartfelt nuanced conversations about navigating your career, including all of the squishy feelings that come along with being a human at work. Thanks for listening. I'm glad you're here.

I wish you could. Here my heart beating out of my chest right now. I'm one of those people who, uh, For whatever reason, I'm able to appear very calm on the surface. Even when there's, there's like, like a tiny, scared animal trench, like trying to burst out of my [00:03:00] chest. Um, So, yeah, very often I seem, uh, Like I've got it together. Uh, And sometimes, um, That is, that is an illusion. So, this is one of those moments.

Wow. I just can't get started talking about this, but here we go. 

Okay. 

We need some preamble for me to get into this conversation. 

Oh, 

God, this is going to be so validating for those of you that. I have some fear around what you want to do. Cause I feel really vulnerable right now around. Just the fact that I'm struggling to enter this conversation. But here we go. 

Uh, where to enter this conversation. Well, I'll just, I'll just enter it head on. And for those of you who listened to the, my [00:04:00] first, uh, audio diary episode. Uh, I think it was episode nine. There were already hints of this in that episode. But. 

For those of you that don't know, don't know my backstory. I've, uh, I've been a career coach for more than 10 years. Mostly helping people make career changes. Helping people start businesses. Some other things. Before that I was a business professor. 

So I'd like to think of myself as a very practical, grounded person, but I'm also a very intuitive person. 

Like really what I do is I help people. Feel safe enough to explore the things they want. And that's, that's really hard for a lot of people. 

And so that's, that's been my career path so far. 

And two years ago, I started having. Clairvoyant experiences. So for those of you that don't know what that is. I [00:05:00] started having. Visions and flashes of things. Um, just like images of things that it's. It's almost like I'm getting a little download. Or a DM from the universe. Uh, and for me, uh, it usually shows up in the form of visions. And, uh, that started coming in pretty fast and furious. About two years ago. And it was both. Awesome. And like really disorienting. 

I wasn't sure. How to make sense of it. Um, I wasn't always sure how to interpret the things I was seeing. And so. I, uh, I elicited some, some help from some different people. So I sought out a lot of support from. Mentors of various kinds people, who've sort of like been a part of that world and [00:06:00] understand that world. For years and decades. Uh, Uh, you know, over the past two years, I've probably worked with. Maybe seven or eight people to really help me understand this thing. 

And I worked really closely with two mentors specifically. So it's interesting. My, my, my lovely little business Careergasm here has been buzzing along business as usual. Uh, and I, you know, Loving that work. And I continue to love that work. And in the background, I've also had this really interesting, deep dive that I, that I didn't see coming with this clairvoyant stuff. And more recently, I also started channeling, which is getting direct messages from spirit. So we got a real interesting mix of things happening. Behind the scenes in terms of my own intuitive development. And, um, it's been a journey. The clairvoyance [00:07:00] thing. I didn't. 

I like I'm a very intuitive person, but the clairvoyance thing, I didn't see that coming. And isn't that ironic. Um, I just, I just didn't. I didn't think that was something that was going to show up for me. And it just goes to show you how life is really and truly full of surprises. And sometimes you're just going to get some shit that really comes out of left field. So, uh, I've been on an interesting personal development journey for the past couple of years. 

And it's funny because personal development is my thing. Like really what I do in my work is I do. Personal development for your professional life. So I love personal development, but there was like a certain, this fear of personal development that I was already pretty darn comfortable with. And then, uh, this clairvoyance thing. Drops in a couple of years ago. 

And so I've, I've been developing more [00:08:00] in that way. Uh, getting some really lovely mentorship and support, understanding it a bit more. Developing more self-trust around what I, what I see and how to interpret things. And. 

So it is may as I'm recording this and last summer, I finally got to the point where. I sensed, I wanted to do something with it. And what I mean by that is like, find a way to use this. Thing I've got going on. I'm reluctant to call it a gift because actually I think everyone has, um, And intuitive connection that they can nurture. 

I don't think there are people who are like in like an intuitive and people who aren't. We can get into that. At another time. 

But last summer, I got to the point where I sensed, I wanted to start. 

[00:09:00] Using using this, um, to help people. In some way. And until recently, I haven't quite known what that would look like. And in some ways I still don't know what that looks like. 

But I'm getting the sense more and more that it's just time to start. You know, you've heard that, that, uh, uh, saying like, you know, Like build the plane as you go. Like that's kind of the vibe I'm getting around it. 

So I've been in incubation mode. With that feeling for the past 10 months or so. Sensing strongly that I want to do something with this. But not really knowing what that looks like. And for the most part, that incubation phase has felt really good for me, really safe for me to just sort of like be with my. Ideas and my notions and my little, the whispers and nudges, I always talk about just [00:10:00] to sort of sit with those for a bit. But it's interesting. 

Over the past month, month or two, I have felt a really strong for whatever reason, our really strong internal push. To get this thing going. Even though I still in many ways feel like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Like, I don't quite know what this thing is. So. You know, it's interesting with that, that incubation phase it's like yes. 

And incubation phase is necessary. But at some point that eggs got a hatch, right? Like the incubation phase can't last forever. And so very soon I'm going to have this thing that was like, 

Like a tiny, a tiny little embryo and an egg, and it's going to be like exposed to the real world. As soon. So let me tell you a little bit about this thing. Still feeling quite fuzzy, honestly, still feels a little bit like a half-baked idea. But I'm going to share anyway, because this is an audio diary. And these are the [00:11:00] thoughts that have been running through my mind. It's interesting. 

Last August on a camping trip. I got the name. For something. And the name. I'll have to explain it a bit. The name for this thing I'm going to make. Is psychic normies. 

It's going to be a place, some sort of community for intuitive people with day jobs. Because intuition is for everyone. And maybe I should start by. Defining what I see as the psychic connection. Uh, psychic connection is just sensitivity to energy beyond what we can observe with our physical senses. It's our connection to spirit or universal energy. 

And I really like that sort of like softer, broader definition, because there might be a few of you out there who hear the word psychic and kind of like get the sort of like cheesy [00:12:00] image of like the. The crystal ball kind of thing. That's not quite what I'm talking about. But I have sensed that this. Psychic normies thing that I'm going to be creating. Like, I really want to create a community. Ah, how do I explain this? 

I want to create a community to help people nurture. And develop there. Own intuitive connection. Whether they feel it's big or small. Cause, you know, different people are connected in different ways and have different comfort levels and different experiences with that. But I especially want this community to be for people who. Like don't necessarily identify as like psychic, for example, or clairvoyant. 

Like they like their identity. Doesn't lean in that direction. Like we're talking about like your [00:13:00] accountant. Soccer moms like literally like, like a regular, regular Joe kind of person. Because I really want to normalize that everyone. Has access to. The psychic or intuitive part of themselves. And we all just fall in different places on that intuitive spectrum. So very soon. I'm going to do something that feels a little bit crazy to me and honestly scares the living shit out of me. But I know myself. And, uh, when I get the, like these nudges, like I gotta follow up on them. 

Otherwise I end up feeling. Small and constrained. And stagnant. So very soon what I'm probably going to be doing. Is that true? No, it's not probably very, very soon what I am going to be doing. Is, I'm going to be sending out a little email to my email [00:14:00] community. I have a really lovely email community. 

Like I have so many people in my email community. That have been with me for like 10 years, like following my stuff, supporting my work. So I feel really safe in my email community. So that's why I'm going to sort of start there. I'm going to be sending out an email to my, to my email community. That's just like, Hey guys. I know, I usually talk to you about career stuff, but, uh, Here's what's going on. And I'm just going to tell them what's been going on for me and invite them into this little community called psychic normies. And actually invite them to create it with me because the truth is I it's still a half-baked idea at this point. There's a couple of things. 

I sense I want to do with the community, but because it is a community, it makes sense to me too. Feel it out with the people who want to be a part of the community. [00:15:00] So there's, there's two things I know are going to be a part of this one is. This is going to be a place for me to share some of the. Clairvoyant, um, visions I've been having. 

And maybe I should pause and just tell you a little bit about that. Um, Sometimes. People who have clairvoyant experiences, they might be the kind of person who like. Receives a message for the person sitting beside them or can receive, you know, they, they might do, for example, what they call a reading for someone who asks a specific question. And they can sort of like get answers from spirit, that sort of stuff. That's not quite what's going on with me. For whatever reason I tend to get, and this feels more complicated to me. I tend to get. 

Visions and messages about collective stuff [00:16:00] like collective global future oriented stuff. 

And it's hard to know what to do with that. Right. If I, if, if for the past two years I had been having. 

Visions, um, you know, images, messages coming through me. That, um, we're for specific people. I would maybe want to build this in the direction of like doing readings for people. But that's not how this is developed for me. For whatever reason I tend to get. Global collective future focused stuff. And I think that's why I've been sitting on this thing for two years. And trying to understand it more because I care very much. About how anything I might share. Will impact the people I'm sharing it with. 

Sometimes people have law. Often people have a lot of fear about future-focused [00:17:00] things. And so I want I've needed this time to become. Quite steady. In my understanding of things. And I'm really in integrity about how I might share some of these things. So I'll probably. Be sharing both some of the visions I've had with my community. And also some of the newer channels I've started doing. 

I'm not going to get into talking about channeling too much today because it's quite new for me. But I know that if I build this community, that's going to be a part of it too. And so I'm getting this. This push this nudge. That, uh, it's time to start this community, even though like the details still feel quite fuzzy. So I'm going to go ahead and do that. 

So that's one of the things I want to do with this community, but. Because I want to start it as a community and not necessarily as like, [00:18:00] 

I don't know, like, I don't want to just be like a creator around this thing or somebody that people follow. Like, I really like the idea of everybody bringing their experiences and their gifts and their questions and their curiosity to the table. And I think one of the things I'd like to do in this community, maybe not right away, but like quite early in the process. Is. Having a couple of community members. Um, share some of their gifts and experiences to sort of. Share with the group and help other members of the group. Nurture their own intuition in different ways. Because here's what I've learned in the past two years. 

Anytime I. I start to feel safe enough. To, to maybe. Share my experiences with someone. 

Gosh, a lot of the time, like easily, more than half of the time that person. We'll respond with an [00:19:00] experience of their own. It's almost like I become the safe person for them to share some sort of. Spiritual experience they've had. But I've noticed. It's like everybody has their own flavor of an intuitive experience. 

If you know what I mean. So, like, there's not just one way that this can show up for a person. And so the community element, I think. Could add a real richness. So. That is the vision. I have so far. I'm not going to be charging for it right away. I'll probably just offer it as like a free community thing for a couple of months because. It's like the way I'm building, this is so different than everything else I built. Like I am such a, like, have your shit together kind of person. 

Like I love to have everything done and [00:20:00] organized and polished before I put it out in the world. 

And I actually think that's one of the reasons why I've been sitting on this idea for so long. It's like, I've been waiting for that kind of clarity and it's just not coming. So I'm getting the sense that this is something I'm supposed to build with community. But everything else I've made in Careergasm for the past 10 years has very much been like. Quite polished when I put it out. And this. This just isn't that you know, it's interesting to be more than 10 years into, into my work. 

Uh, well, this, you know, this phase of my career career journey with Careergasm. And to be in a position. Where I've got this, uh, 

Like a real vulnerability around making something. Again, it gives me so much empathy for my clients actually. Particularly my business development clients. Um, 'cause you know, me [00:21:00] 10 years ago, certainly had some fears around putting Careergasm out there. 

But that was a long time ago and I've, I have settled into like a comfortable little. Uh, flow with my work for quite a while. And so. Having this thing come, come out of left field is, um, That's a real stretch for me. Let me tell you. And, and also, I, I, I don't know how, how this is going to fit into my work. 

It certainly doesn't like. Fit under the Careergasm brand that I've built for 10 years right now, it just feels like a passion project. But it's so funny. I always tell my clients about the importance of dabbling and trying things. And so. The beautiful and annoying thing about being a career coach is like, when I'm now. When I'm in that position. It's like, well, I, you know, I really got to take my own medicine here. 

I gotta, I gotta, I got to do the toe dip. I gotta do the dabbling. [00:22:00] So, even though I. I still feel like this is quite half baked and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I think I just need to start. I think I need to do some sort of toe dip. And trust that if I do a toe dip, I will get more information and I will get more clarity. 

It's kind of like what I talk about sometimes when I talk about the difference between, you know, In career navigation, we always wish. We would get exact GPS coordinates for the next thing. But really what we have to work with is just like a compass. Which just points us in a general direction. And then we have to start moving in that direction. And as we go more is revealed to us. 

We get more information as we start doing. So that's what I've got to do. 

And. 

I have all kinds. Of insecurities about sharing. This side of myself, you listened to the [00:23:00] opening of this episode of the podcast. I was a hot mess. Just trying to start this conversation with you. And I'm just alone in my office with a microphone. But I do have all kinds of insecurities about sharing the side of myself for a couple of reasons. 

Like. You know, uh, 

I'm afraid I'm I'm going to lose credibility. With, with some people. And I understand that I will, like, it's not just a fear like that might happen. Like there really is still not as much as let's say, 20 years ago, but there's still quite a bit of stigma around intuition clairvoyance, psychic connection, that sort of stuff. There's still a lot of eye rollers out there. 

Right. And so I'm not especially psyched about losing credibility and putting myself in that vulnerable position. Um, you know, I know, I absolutely know that there will be some people who think I've gone off the deep end. And. I also know. [00:24:00] Because this is just, I, I just know how this works. I also know that there will be some people who feel drawn closer to me. Because of this because they have that connection themselves. Or they just really respect that. 

I'm brave enough to like put this stuff out there even though. My credibility as, as a career coach might be called into question by some people. So I get that there's a trade off there. It's like, okay, I'm going to lose some people. And I, I sense, and I know that some people will be drawn. Closer to me because of this. 

So that's the trade off. But then there's also like real risks. Like, like actual, tangible, Risks here. Um, and I'll tell you one of them that has really been on my mind and is one of the main fears I have about this. I have worked very hard. With Careergasm, to build a lot of great relationships. With media outlets. [00:25:00] With big publications with television and radio networks on like a national level. And. Uh, like, I'll just tell you the specific fear there. 

There's a part of me that's like, Well, is CBC Guinness. Still want to call you for those national interviews you do about career stuff. If the producers and reporters there know, or find out that. Now you're also this intuitive clairvoyant lady. Unsure. Maybe I'm underestimating the open-mindedness of those people. But it's a genuine concern. 

I have. And, you know, those. Those media connections. I have. It's essentially free marketing for my business. So it's not like putting myself out there. In this way is just about worrying what people will think of me. You know, it's possible that it might have real implications for my business. [00:26:00] Depending on how people receive this. And also like maybe I don't need to overthink it. 

Like it's totally possible that this won't even be something that's on people's radars. So it's interesting. There's there's some risks if I do this, but. There's also risks. If I don't do it, I am always telling my clients. And I know I've talked about it here on the podcast. 

There's also a risks with not doing something and we have to do balanced risk assessment. 

So I've just gone through the, the risks associated with moving forward with this. But, you know, like for me, the risks associated with not moving forward with this is that I just, I just know myself and I am someone who. If I intuitively feel, I am meant to do something, like if I feel that intuitive nudge in a strong way. I have to do it because it feels really bad for me. [00:27:00] 

If I don't and I can give you a couple of examples. Back when I was on the academia track, working as a professor, right at the tail end of my PhD for, for two full years. I was in that world for four years, but for the last two of them, Like a part of me knew I was not supposed to be there. I do not want to be there. 

I was having all sorts of health problems. I felt like. You know, might. My life force was slowly leaking out of my body. I was getting sick. I was deeply unhappy. And that's because I wasn't listening to the part of myself that knew I needed something different. So I'm just one of those people. And really, I think we all are on some level. I'm just one of those people who things don't go well for me. When I don't follow up on the whispers and nudges, and that is. Sometimes, uh, both a blessing and a curse. So there's one example. [00:28:00] And then also like more recently, I, I have lived in Toronto for the past two and a half decades. And. I got a very, very strong, intuitive nudge that I was just supposed to uproot my entire life and move to a small town about two hours outside of Toronto. Um, and there was really no logic behind that. 

I hadn't been looking to leave Toronto. There was just this place that was drawing me and I did it. I uprooted my entire home and life and business and relocated just based on a feeling because , the feeling was so strong. And it would have felt bad if I hadn't let myself do that. So. I know how this thing is going to play out if I don't follow up on it. 

And if I don't. Get brave and just let myself do it. So I'm just going to do it. 

I also know this. 

And you'll probably feel that this is [00:29:00] true as well. In your own experience. I really believe that the universe rewards action. And what, like, it loves, it loves when you've got skin in the game. It's almost like. When you're. Willing or brave enough to actually take an action on something, instead of just thinking about it. It's almost like the universe is like, okay, she's ready. 

We're going to give her a little more support for this. We're going to send her some more bread Combs. Okay, we're going to, she, okay. She's serious about this. She's just not, she's not just thinking about it. Here we go. It's funny, you know? This is so cheesy, but you know, what's coming to me. Right now is. It's almost like the universe is like, uh, when you finally put some skin in the game, when you're finally willing to take action. It's like the universe is like, Do you know that Shania Twain song. Where. At the [00:30:00] beginning of the song, it's like, let's go girls. I kind of think taking action towards the things you feel drawn to, but scared of it's like the universe responds in that way. It's like, okay, she's ready. Let's go girls and like, Then the synchronicities happen, then you make a little more progress. 

Then you get a little more clarity. I really do believe that. And I'm holding onto that a little more. Um, 

A little more. Tightly than I usually do because I'm in that phase with this myself. With this idea that I want to bring to life that I have fears about. But I feel a really strong pull towards, so. That's it. That's where I am these days. Uh, in this. Scared. Excited. A place. And, uh, you know, I know this episode has [00:31:00] been about me because it's an audio diary, but you know, I always like to leave you a little something to think about at the end of these episodes. 

Maybe, maybe you could think about. A whisper or a nudge. That you've been feeling. Especially if it's one that scares you. And this week I would just encourage you to. Maybe take a toe dip yourself, maybe start softening some of the edges of the fear around that. Or maybe let yourself feel the full blown fear. And just consider doing it. Anyway. 

Food for thought. Thanks for hanging in there for this one. I appreciate you being here. I'll see you next time.

Hey, Hey, I'm still here. If you're not already a part of my email community now would be a really good time to sign up because. As I [00:32:00] mentioned, I'm going to be sending out the invitation for this psychic normies. Community to my email community first. And if you want to explore your own intuition and community with others, or even if you just want to hear about my experience with some of the divisions I'm having and stuff, that's where I'll be sharing that. And I'm going to be doing that real soon. Because here's what I know. 

I'm quite. Scared to do this. So I just need to rip off the bandaid. So that's going to be going out real soon. So you're welcome to join me there. I will put a link to join my email community in the show notes. Thanks for being here. I'll see you next time.