the emotional side of career change

Sarah Vermunt: [00:00:00] Have you ever noticed that a lot of career experts treat career change? Like it is some sort of tactical engineering problem to be solved with a logical sequential steps. 1, 2 3. There you go. It's done. Perhaps you've noticed this doesn't work for most people. In my experience, I find it doesn't work for most people because it leaves out the mental and emotional side. Of career change all of the fears and assumptions that are. That are driving the bus, many of which we are unconscious of, and that can sabotage our efforts to make a career change. So today I want to talk about a more nuanced human framework for career change that actually addresses the emotional. And mental side. Big stuff here. Let's go.[00:01:00] 

[00:01:00] Welcome to Careergasm. This is a place to help you find your way to feel good work. I'm Sarah Vermont and I help people navigate their careers. I'm a career coach, a best-selling author. And my work has been featured at places like Forbes, fortune Inc entrepreneur and fast company. On this show, we talk about career navigation and career change, and specifically. The human side of work. Where the professional is personal. We have heartfelt nuanced conversations about navigating your career, including all of the squishy feelings that come along with being a human at work. Thanks for listening. 

I'm glad you're here.

I think it is crazy that we don't talk about the emotional and mental side of career change very often. I mean I do, but in the career navigation world, There is a real lack of this being a primary part of the conversation. When we're talking about career change. And I, I think it's specifically, I think it's especially crazy. Because. I have found that is often the piece that keeps people feeling really stuck. When we don't address the mental and emotional side of career change. You know, all of the thoughts and fears and emotions and assumptions that we have just in a big soupy mix up in our heads. If we don't address that stuff, it's going to trip us up. So I like to [00:02:00] think of career change. As something we do on parallel tracks, I often talk about the parallel tracks model of career change. 

And what I mean by that is on the one track is you're figuring out what you want and making a plan to go after it. Super important. But equally important. And here's the invisible side that we don't often address is doing all of the things you'd need to get out of your own way. Becoming self aware enough to notice what emotions, what thoughts, what assumptions, what mental stories are going on for you. So that you can gently work with those things and address them so that they don't become a giant Boulder. On the path to your career change. So. Today. Specifically. I would like to invite fear to the table. I think very often we demonize fear. And really when you look at it, fear isn't [00:03:00] pleasant. But it's not bad. Fear is always trying to keep us safe, even if. The degree to which it is shoting or the way it's shouting at us seems really out of whack. So when you think about fear, just remember that fierce impulse is good, right? 

It's good that we have this part of us that wants to keep us safe. It's just the volume. That's problematic for most people, for a lot of people, especially around this career change stuff. It's almost like fear has a megaphone. And when your fear is that loud. Perhaps you've noticed it kind of hijacks your decision-making. 

You're not able to think. Rationally and calmly about your options. So for today. Let's treat fear like a character. Like a little personality inside of you, a little character inside of you. And let's [00:04:00] honor. The fact that fear has its concerns that it legitimately wants to share. It wants those concerns heard. And it wants those concerns addressed. But here's what we usually do. With fear around a career change or anything else. 

Here's what we do with fear. When the stakes feel high for something. We do one of two things and both of them are pretty problematic. First, you might push the fear down. We ignore the fear or we really refuse to look at it. You know, we sort of want to like shove it in a corner and not deal with it. 

So we push it down in some way. We repress it. The second thing that we do. Sometimes. Often we do this around career change. Is we just acquiesce to the fear? We cave to it. We hand over our power. We give it the wheel. So for folks who've known they've wanted a career change for a long time, but they haven't addressed their [00:05:00] fears. Very often when I'm working with them, they'll say I have been wanting to do this thing for several years and I can't even get to the point where I'm willing to explore something because the fear is just cranked up. 

So high. And so a lot of those folks will say, yeah, they've kind of acquiesced to the fear. They don't know how to manage it. So they've just let it win for the past couple of years. And I have noticed that neither of these ways of dealing with fear. Are especially helpful. They're both pretty paralyzing acquiescence or. 

Denial of fear, repression of fear, pushing it down. And here's what happens when you don't address your fear? Regardless of what tactic you're using. When you don't address your fear, your fear goes into overdrive. So it not only prevents you from, let's say doing the thing or taking the action that you really want to take.

For a lot of people, it [00:06:00] prevents you from even doing some basic information gathering because even gathering information about a potential move feels so threatening. So fear and paralysis. Are often bedfellows. They often come together. Anyone who's dealing with paralysis around career is probably also dealing with a lot of fear. And maybe, you know exactly what I'm talking about. And so today, Right now, let's just for these few minutes we have together. 

Let's just make some space for fear. Okay. And then you can bottle it up at again at the end of this podcast episode, if you want. Okay. But I'd like to invite you to experiment with something for me.

I'd like you to ask yourself the question. What is one of the fears that comes up when I think about making a career change? 

What's something. That is a fear that comes up [00:07:00] around career change. I like to call these anxieties greatest hits. You probably have three or four of them. Around any change you might be thinking about in your career?

One of your fears might be. Well, I'm afraid that I'll have to start all over again. Or, and this is related. I'm afraid that I'll have to go back to school and I am not up for doing another degree. 

Or it might be. Well, I'm afraid that I'll have to take a pay. Cut. 

Or I'm afraid that this other thing won't be as secure as my current job. 

Or. I'm afraid I'm too old. I hear that one a lot for my clients who are in their fifties and sixties. Basically it might be, if I make a career change, X bad thing will happen. Right. You probably have a [00:08:00] number of them. 

Can you see a little nugget there where the fear's trying to keep you safe, where all of the fears, regardless of what they are that come up. There's somehow trying to make sure that you're okay. Okay, it's trying to keep you safe. Like I said, Good impulse. 

But can you also see that every fear has a little assumption hidden just underneath it. 

So for example, If you say I'm afraid that I'll have to start all over again. Right within that fear is nested and assumption that you will have to start all over again. 

Or I'm afraid that I'll have to take a pay cut. 

Nested within that fear is the assumption that you will have to take a pay. Cut.

I'm afraid that I won't be as secure in this new career path. As I was on [00:09:00] my old career path. Well, there's an assumption there that whatever you choose next is going to be less secure than what you're doing now if you scratch the surface of fear, you will almost always find that there's some sort of belief or assumption underneath. And these beliefs and assumptions might be conscious. A lot of them might also be unconscious. You might be listening to this literally right now. And just for the first time. You're noticing consciously. This belief story assumption that you have. Noticing is good by the way. 

And so today, I just want you to. Notice what your underlying assumptions. R. This is a really good place to start. When you're making a career change, when we're looking at that second track on the [00:10:00] parallel track, the personal development side of career change. It's really important to notice the mental stories you're working with so that when you get to the research stage, Around your career change. You can gather good. Real trustworthy information about whether or not your assumption is just in assumption. And it's not in fact true. Or if it's way off base, or maybe there's a little nugget of truth there, but it's not the whole story. The truth is we don't actually know until you start doing research. 

But here's a good starting place before you get to the research phase around your career change. You notice what your fear is? 

You identify an underlying assumption around that fear? And then you simply ask. Are [00:11:00] you sure? 

Like go ahead and ask yourself. Are you sure? Are you sure you're going to have to start all over again. Or is that maybe an assumption you have. Are you sure you're going to have to take a pay cut. You might not have to. Are you sure the next thing you're going to choose, isn't also going to be a secure option. 

Are you sure you're too old? Are you sure that this bad thing that you have in your mind? Is going to happen. If you make a career change. 

A lot of the times you are going to find if you're being really honest with yourself, That you're not quite sure, like you have a hunch that this thing is true, but you don't actually have enough information to work with. 

Now having assumptions isn't bad, by the way. I have them. You have them, we all have them. It's a very human thing to have. That's how our mind works. The problem is accepting your assumptions and beliefs as [00:12:00] fact without actually fact checking them. So I like to think of the research phase of career change of as sort of like acting like a journalist or a scientist, like just treating your assumptions as a hypothesis, checking them out, but then doing good research and asking good questions to see if that's the whole story. Usually it isn't. 

And so the first step is to get curious about your fears. And the assumptions beneath them. And then to follow up and fill your information gaps. There are so many people who take the idea of a career change off the table before they even get to the research stage because their fears are so loud and they haven't actually. Examined their assumptions in a real way.

So here's what this looks like in practical [00:13:00] terms for the folks I work with in my career change program, for example. First, you got to put a few things on the table, right? You take that first track of career, change the figuring out what you want. And you work on that a little bit. 

So you do explore some of your desires. You do a bit of brainstorming, you get clear on what your interests are and aren't, and then you put a few things that you're curious about. On the table. Notice, I'm not saying you put a few things that you're certain you want on the table. I think there's a real power. In letting yourself be curious about a few things. As you're just starting to take a look at your desires, because if you think about it, Anyone who ever became passionate about something was curious about it first. 

There's a real positive side to letting yourself be curious. Before you put pressure on yourself to be [00:14:00] certain. 

Concurrently with coming up with these desires and curiosities. You want to identify your fears and the assumptions underneath them? With some specificity. And you really can't explore those and fact check them until you articulate what they are. Until you. Get curious about your fear. And until you start noticing. What your assumptions are. I'm always telling my clients to celebrate the noticing because when we celebrate the noticing. That gives us something else to work with. 

It gives us more information to work with an untangle. So I know it's really frustrating to notice that something is getting in your way. But if you can just celebrate, noticing that something is going on with you emotionally or with some sort of mental story. That [00:15:00] is a fantastic insight and it gives us something to work with. So we're exploring our desires and curiosities. We're identifying and noticing what our fears and assumptions are. And then only after that, do we engage in research and we want to do really good research. One of the things I have, all of my clients do and I help them with is to talk to real people. In the actual 3d world who are doing the work that they're curious about. So that they can. See what it's actually like so that they can learn the good, the bad and the ugly so that they can check their assumptions to see. If they're true where they're true. And only after that. Do you get to the point where you're ready to make a decision? 

And for me and the folks I work with. This is how you move [00:16:00] forward in a way that feels safe. So inviting fear to the table and addressing it is actually a part of moving forward in a way that feels safe. So many of us are so triggered by our fears. That we don't properly address them. And it is counter-intuitive in a way. That bringing our fears to the table and letting our fears have a say. Is actually a part of getting unstuck. But I find it's a really, really important part. 

So. I'm going to give you a little bit of homework this week. I would love for you to notice what two or three of your fears are. Around career change. If you're not considering a career change, notice some fears in another area related to your career. Some other navigation component. But notice some fears you're having. [00:17:00] And then scratch the surface of that fear and see where the assumptions are. 

What sort of mental story is going on there. 

If you're able to do that in a week, that's pretty good. Like you should definitely celebrate the noticing if you're able to do that. And then if you're ready to take it to the next level. Start asking yourself, are you sure? You'll find in many cases that you're not. And then it's time to really dig in and do some real research so that you can move forward. And make the change that you want. Sending you all kinds of love for that this week. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time.

Hey there. I'm still here. [00:18:00] This would be a really lovely episode to share with that friend of yours who keeps talking about the fact that they need to make a career change. But just can't get past their fear. 

Also. Have you subscribed yet? Have you given a little rating, maybe a little review. If you haven't, I would love for you to, this is only the seventh episode of career gazumped. I am just getting my stride here and I would love for more people to learn about the podcast. And reviews and ratings really help that. So, if you feel compelled to do that for me, I so appreciate it. 

Thanks for being here and I will see you next time.