Audio Diary: I Don't Know What's Next

Sarah Vermunt: [00:00:00] Sometimes, hopefully most of the time I will show up here and I'll have my shit together. And sometimes I won't. Today is a wound. I am feeling fuzzy and unclear about something. And today I thought I'd share. So here's the deal. I sense that my work is going to change. 

And I don't yet know how it's going to change. Well, let me tell you that is a very interesting predicament for a career coach to be in, especially one who's built a career, helping people get clarity. So today. In this first audio diary episode, I thought I would invite you into this experience in real time, as I'm trying to figure this out. So my friend. Welcome to the inside of my brain. Let's go.

[00:01:00] Welcome to careergasm. This is a place to help you find your way to feel good work. I'm Sarah Vermont and I help people navigate their careers. I'm a career coach, a bestselling author. And my work has been featured at places like Forbes, fortune Inc entrepreneur and fast company. On this show, we talk about career navigation and career change, and specifically the human side of work, where the professional is personal. We have a heartfelt nuanced conversations about navigating your career. Including all of the squishy feelings that come along with being a human at work. Thanks for listening. I'm glad you're here. 

So the goals of this podcast broadly, the career guys in [00:02:00] podcast are twofold. I always want to give you something that feels helpful. And hopeful for your career. Like some kind of small action you can take. Um, you know, a question for you to chew on. And then secondly, I want to validate the messiness of navigating your career. 

All those rough edges and the fuzzy ambiguous bits. 

Hence the audio diary. Occasionally, I will have an episode where I'll share some of the gooey stuff that I'm personally dealing with. In my own career. And I will share some stuff before it's fully cooked. If you know what I mean. 

I do think there's value in seeing the mess in the, in between spaces where we figure things out. And so today, [00:03:00] I kind of want to help. Validate. The sort of what the fuck newness of the messy middle. Um, And so here today, I am. Showing up, not as your captain, but really as your comrade and this career navigation thing. Oh boy. So you might be thinking. Hey, Sarah, what do you mean? What do you mean? You think your work is going to change? And to that I say. I wish I knew, boy, I would really appreciate the answer to that question as well. But I don't have a specific answer for you. I don't have a specific answer for me yet. What I have is. A subtle, but persistent. And growing a feeling. Like. Like a vague, inner knowing. [00:04:00] And, uh, you know, that isn't something that you can exactly take to the bank. Now the part of me that's been helping people with their careers for 10 years, of course knows that this is a normal phase to go through. When you're figuring things out, this really fuzzy, foggy. Feeling that something wants to change. So there's a part of me. 

That's like, yup. This is totally normal. And. Also. I don't love this phase. Uh, I have been in this phase for nearly six months. I would say like more strongly in the past two months. And I would call this. The noticing phase. Like noticing this sort of. Subtle yearning. This sort of vague desire for something new. [00:05:00] And so it's this noticing without quite knowing how it's going to take shape yet. God, that sounds super ambiguous. 

Doesn't it? Okay. I hope you follow. But by the way, I should say. Careergasm isn't going anywhere. Like my company and my work is a career coach. Is sticking around. I love my work. So like, we're not going for. Demo demolition. We're more going for like Reno. Renno is more the vibe, like adding something to the mix, building something. Newish adding in something. But, you know, this feeling I'm having, it feels like it's going to be. Something that feels significant. 

It like it'll feel significant to me. Maybe it might not feel significant [00:06:00] necessarily for my clients or even some of the people who follow my work. But it like has a feeling of importance. And so let me tell you a little bit more about this vague sort of feeling I've been having lately. The. 

Let's call them intuitive. 

Whispers have been feeling. A bit louder. And those gentle, intuitive nudges the gut nudges. I call them sometimes. Have started to feel more like a push. So it's that feeling where it goes from like, just like a little, like a tiny little. Poke. To like something a little more in your face. Which is hilarious because. 

The feeling around something new, wanting to happen is growing. But I still feel like I didn't get the memo about any of the actual details. 

And yet I [00:07:00] do sense that something will crystallize soon because I've been in this phase for a while and it's growing. And I know from experience. From being in this phase before both in my work, in my personal life that like. This is kind of how it works. It needs to like marinate in build for a while. 

And then finally, there's something that sort of crystallizes.

You know what it feels like. It. It feels like I don't have exact GPS coordinates. But I just know, like, I just know I'm supposed to go. North. And if I just start heading north, I will be given more information. 

Or, you know what else? It's kind of like, it's kind of like, oh God, this is such a nice feeling. 

It's like when you're walking down the street, And you smell a really awesome bakery. But you don't [00:08:00] know which direction that amazing smell is coming from yet. So you just kind of have to like follow your nose for a while. 

I have all these weird analogies and I really hope I'm making sense. I'm, I'm realizing that I'm talking around the thing instead of talking about the thing. And. And that's because like, I don't actually know. What the thing is yet, like the thing that I'm moving towards is. 

Okay, wait. That's that's not entirely true. 

Okay. So let me think about this for a second. 

Because there are some things I do know. Vegas. They are. I sense that this next thing I make. Whatever it is. Is not going to be some. Practical. Linear. Step-by-step how to kind of thing, like [00:09:00] an expertee thing. I don't make that kind of oversimplified surface-y stuff. Anyway. But like this next thing I make is definitely not coming close to that. I think this next thing I make is going to be related to intuition. And inner knowing. 

Like helping people nurture and develop and embrace that part of themselves. And I'm always, I've always leaned into that as a part of my work. It's like, it's been like a, like a, like a north star. For a lot of my work. But I think for whatever this next thing I make, I think maybe I want to like claim it. A little more. Like more fully and explicitly claim the intuitive side of things. And go just like way deeper with it. [00:10:00] So that's what I know so far. 

You know, it's interesting as I'm, as I'm talking through this, I realize. I'm taking myself through an exercise that I give to my clients, usually in our first session together. What I have a lot of people do is put together this list of stuff of career ingredients. That they want to lean into in the next phase of their career. As well as a list of ones that they want to lean away from. I call it the hell. 

Yes. And hell no. List. And it's really, it's really like a, just an initial list of yearnings and also a list of turnoffs. So here I am. I've got my yearning around making something in the intuition arena. [00:11:00] And I've got this turnoff of making something that feels. Over-simplified to linear. Too much of a, like step-by-step, process-based kind of thing. It's, it's not the vibe. So that's what we're working with. Uh, something. Related to developing your intuition. 

And I do have like ideas. Vague ones. I have thought about starting some kind of. Uh, passion project lab, where people come to explore and develop a half-baked idea. That's been tugging on their heartstrings, like a business they want to create or a book they want to write. Or as something that they want to make or an event or experience that they want to create. And I would make this for [00:12:00] people who. Like, I don't know if they want to leave the safety of their nine to five just yet. 

And like, maybe they don't even know if this thing has the potential to make them. Money. But they don't want to ignore the yearnings anymore. Because the yearning isn't going away. 

So there's that. Just as an option. This is sort of like, just like a vague idea right now. Another, I guess more formed idea at this point is some sort of intuition development program to help people nurture and embrace their intuitive side. Um, just start building a relationship with their intuition. To start to trust it. And to start to let it guide your decision-making. I like I developed this exact program about a year [00:13:00] and a half ago, but the timing wasn't right. 

So. I don't know. Maybe I look at that again. Maybe the time is right now. 

Even STO, even if that's the case. And even if I do go in this direction, like I still have questions, it doesn't feel fully formed yet. Like, do I tailor this for career navigation? The people I'm already serving. Or do I make this. Like a broader thing around intuition, not just for your work, but also for your life. 

I don't know. 

Then there's this. Other idea that goes deep down a very specific. Intuition rabbit hole. 

There is a part of me that is really. Curious about the idea. Of building a community. For [00:14:00] budding intuitives. 

I started having psychic experiences. A couple of years ago. I know that sounds very out there. 

But it's just the truth. And this is my first time talking about it in a more public way. And my heart is racing is racing. Just even, even just dropping that tiny little seed of information out there. 

You know, mostly I get like a flashes and like visions, like clairvoyant stuff. And I like, I don't know what to do with that yet. It's why I'm not out here offering like readings and stuff. Like it's still developing. And I am. I'm at what I would call [00:15:00] the awkward teenage stage with that, where it's like, yeah. 

Something's like definitely developing and definitely there, but I haven't like. Mastered it yet. Not like that's something to master necessarily, but there's sort of like a. Like a ganglia awkwardness to. The level of development I have had in this area. It's like, it's not nothing, but it's not. Um, 

I have not mastered anything in this area yet. 

But I have this yearning for a community of other. Sort of budding intuitive types, you know? Like a community of people who, who have day jobs, but who also have some kind of like low key, intuitive or psychic experiences. 

And like, I, I know those people are out there because any time I've [00:16:00] been brave enough to tell someone what's going on for me, They I'm telling you they are dying to tell me. Uh, about their own intuitive experiences. It's almost like they're so thrilled to come across someone who they know isn't going to judge them as crazy. 

So like I become the safe person. Where they can share their intuitive stuff with. 

And actually, I think there's a lot of us out there. And maybe like, maybe we're all just scared to talk about it. In case people think we're crazy. I mean, I've been, I've been keeping this under a lid for a, like a pretty long time. And if I'm being honest, it's mostly for that specific reason. It's not just because I feel like it's still developing and I don't quite know what I'm doing yet. 

It's also like, Uh, fear of judgment. I'll just be real with you.

And so this direction of the [00:17:00] three that I'm sharing here and there are more, but I'm not going to go through all of them today. This particular direction is. It's the one that scares the shit out of me the most. Because this one. If I, if I decide to experiment with this and make something, I would kind of have to make it outside of. The container of my company outside of the career Gazprom container. 

The other two ideas are more obviously career related. Uh, but this last one, like not so much, it's like a pretty specific thing. 

And then of course, there's also the possibility that I end up doing all of these things over the course of time. And maybe it's just a matter of. Seeing which one wants to be born first. 

Or maybe it's none of these. Uh, but something comes together with like a similar flavor. 

[00:18:00] It's. It's like, okay, I want chocolate, but do I want sea salted, dark chocolate. Or do I want. Peppermint hot chocolate. Or do I want one of those chocolate molten lava cakes that the like, you know, every like basic restaurant chain has. By the way I'm not very sophisticated when it comes to chocolate. 

So I love those. 

But I guess my point is. I know what some of the main ingredients are, but I don't. Exactly know what I'm. Making yet. 

I'm still in the feeling it out phase.

So here's what I've been doing. And what I'm just going to continue to do. 

I'm going to keep noticing where. Curiosity pulls me like T like notice the nudges. And, [00:19:00] uh, try not to panic too much. If, and when they point me in a certain direction, Like I have enough life under my belt to know. That the nudges are always right. And I'll just speak for myself now that might not be true for you, but for me, I am telling you. The nudges are always right. Even if they don't always make sense. 

You know, like you, do you feel that difference? 

You know what I mean? 

Most of the good things in my life have happened because I followed a nudge. Sometimes rather reluctantly. And a lot of the let's, uh, let's call them lessons. In my life. Have been the result of going against. A nudge.

So. [00:20:00] This is me. Raising my imaginary glass and saying. Cheers to noticing our nudges and to. Trying to follow along. As best we can. 

Thanks for being here. I'll see you next time. Well, What do we think about this audio diary thing? I gotta be honest with ya. I'm not sure. Too much information. Helpful. Not helpful. 20 minutes of your life that you're never going to get back again. If you want to let me know. You can write me a review. Or you can find me [00:21:00] over@careergasm.com and leave me a little note. I would love to hear from you. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time.