Breakdowns and Burnout: How They're Trying to Help Us

Sarah Vermunt: [00:00:00] Well, I have a doozy of a topic for us today. Breakdowns and burnout. Have you ever had a career breakdown? Have you ever experienced burnout? That's a yes. On both counts for me, can't say I loved it. Do not recommend. Zero stars. But of course, these are really common experiences and there are so many things that we could talk about around breakdowns and burnout. But today I want to focus in on one very specific thing and that's stick with me here. That's how breakdowns and burnout. Are trying to help us. And how we can come to see these very hard experiences as helping to illuminate something. That needs to be addressed. 

Let's [00:01:00] go.

Welcome to Careergasm. This is a place to help you find your way to feel good work. I'm Sarah Vermunt and I help people navigate their careers. I'm a career coach, a best-selling author. And my work has been featured at places like Forbes, fortune Inc entrepreneur and fast company. On this show, we talk about career navigation and career change. And specifically. The human side of work, where the professional is personal. We have heartfelt nuanced conversations about navigating your career, including all of the squishy feelings that come along with being a human at work. Thanks for listening. I'm glad you're [00:02:00] here. Can I just say that I love this. I, I think this has maybe. My 13th episode. And I love that. I get to share something that goes directly into your ear holes. There's like a whole other intimacy level there. I'm just having a really fun time with this. So if you've been listening, just know that, uh, I'm really glad you're there and listening. 

 We are on a topic today that I do not take lightly. And hence why I wanted to narrow the scope of this. Talk down to something quite specific. We've been talking about intuition for the past couple of episodes and that's continuing. But really today, I want to look at. 

You know, sometimes what happens when we aren't able to connect to our intuition. And so looking back on your life, have you ever had the experience where you can see now that your intuition. Was [00:03:00] trying to tell you something. But like you just weren't getting the memo. 

And you weren't getting the memo because a part of you really didn't want to get the memo because if you got the memo, you'd probably have to do something about it. 

And you know, that that seems scary or overwhelming. Maybe the memo was that, there was a relationship that needed to end, or maybe the memo that your intuition was trying to give you was about a job that was bad for you or a situation that needed to change. In some way. 

We don't always get the memos, right. 

Me too. 

And denial can protect us from hard things for a while. And sometimes that's actually good. For a, why y'all. Until it's not. Until things get to a [00:04:00] point where you have to have the hard conversation. Until you get to the point where, you know, you have to report something to HR. Until the situation gets so bad that you need to make a change of some kind. Or leave a bad situation. If things get to that point. That breaking point where something needs to change. But yes, still aren't getting the memo. 

Enter breakdowns and burnout. That's that's when they step in. Now of course, I know breakdowns and burnout are two different things, but I'm talking about them together today. Because these are two things. That rise up and pull the needle off the record. When you have that record scratch moment in your life, that jolt. Uh, where your attention is [00:05:00] drawn towards something that needs to be addressed. 

It's never welcome. Neither. Uh, breakdown or burnout is really ever welcome. But damn it. You got to admit they are effective. Aren't they they're super effective at shutting it down. And getting our attention. Here's what I find, they're usually saying. They're usually saying something like. Hey, honey. We need to stop this now. 

This isn't working. So we're just going to go ahead and put on the brakes. Because there's something that you need to address here. We're trying to draw your attention to something. 

It's kind of like when. It's kind of like the moment when a tap on the shoulder. Becomes. A bit of a shove, right? You can think of [00:06:00] like the little whispers and nudges of intuition as like the gentle tap on the shoulder. And, uh, when we're not able to notice or heed those gentler, intuitive messages. 

Incomes breakdown, incomes, burnout to. Make sure that you pay attention to something that needs to be addressed here because when you don't get the memo on the first couple of tries, when intuition. He is trying to, to share something with you, by the way. No judgment about that. I have been there on more than one occasion. Uh, usually when we're ignoring our intuition, it's because of a lot of fear. I been there. 

But when you don't, when you don't get the memo, the first couple of times, when you ignore the intuition, the first couple of times, Like the universe is going to find another way to make sure you [00:07:00] get the memo. In a way you can't ignore. So we're talking usually something that's harsher and a little more intense. Breakdowns. Burnout. Not fun. 

Can't be ignored.

And in this way, I think that breakdowns and burnout are often. What I'm going to call intuition emissaries. They're like diplomatic representatives sent on some sort of special mission. To help us. Get the memo. On some changes that need to happen. So there, there, there are nobody's favorite person to see. But they're, they're coming in to deliver a special message. 

I'm going to go ahead and get personal about this for a couple of minutes. Because I have some experience with [00:08:00] this, not just with, helping other people with this, but like some real, not so fun lived experience. Back when I was still working. In academia when I was working as a professor. At the tail end of my PhD. I had. 

Uh, pretty serious mental breakdown. In public. Uh, happened in a crowded Starbucks, actually, where I was working. On, uh, some, some stuff for a class that I was designing and teaching. And, um, that was fun. Love that part of my job loved teaching. But then I got to the part of my day where I was going to like switch over and start working on. My research. And for those of you that don't know, don't know when you're a professor about. 80% of your job is research. 

And about 20% is teaching. [00:09:00] And I happened to. Not love the research part. Uh, and that was a problem that I didn't want to look at that I didn't want to address because boy, I sure worked really hard to jump through a bunch of hoops. To leave a previous career to get into academia. I was 93 pages into my dissertation, right at the tail end. 

And I had already scored a job to design and teach another class. So I had worked really hard to get to where I was. So I was quite invested on this particular career path. But. I had had a bunch of shit going down for a couple of years. That was not so great. Not just with my mental health, but with my physical health. So on the mental health side, like real. A lot of exhaustion and lethargy just like low grade depression. Um, anxiety. 

Anytime I thought about leaving and doing something else. On the physical health side, [00:10:00] Uh, unexplained hives. That's pretty severe. Uh, when I was working on my research, a surprise, surprise, I felt narcoleptic. Like I couldn't even stay awake. So we're talking very severe exhaustion. Like my body would literally just shut down. 

Um, major headaches, mood swings. 

I felt very fragile emotionally. I was constantly crying. My back regularly went out and like, I don't mean a sore back. I mean, like lying on the floor and you can't get up. For several hours. I remember my mother had to come to town. And help me walk to, and from the toilet. Things were not good. And I like a lot of people. Tried to push it down. Because I. Felt very committed to this decision I'd made. To pursue this career path. And there was a really strong part of me that did not [00:11:00] want to know. 

How bad it was. 

I did not want to get the memo. So first. You know, the whispers and nudges about not being happy. I'm sure those were there. Then the universe sent in all of these health issues. Still didn't want to get the memo. The day I got the memo was that day. In Starbucks when I had a very public mental breakdown and I was just, I was just switching from working on the part of my work that I liked to the part of my work that I didn't like. And it was like a hundred other days before that. 

I don't know why it happened on this day. But something in me just broke. I remember feeling like things slowed down. Like if you ever had a moment that you remember where it feels like it was happening in slow motion. This was like that. I remember I started to cry. Uncontrollably. And we're not talking like tiny, single tier we're talking [00:12:00] like heavy heaving, snotty, crying. Um, like real panicked, crying. I remember, I nearly spelt my latte all over my laptop. 

So now everybody's looking at me. Um, And I just couldn't get it together. I had this feeling where I was almost like. Hovering over my own body, watching the whole thing play out in slow motion. It was fucking awful. I'm telling you. 

And so I tried to get it together. I went out to the parking lot to my car, sat in my car, panicked in my car for a while. 

Got it together. I went back into the Starbucks to try to start my work again. Like a fool. And of course the same thing happened. Again, I, you know, the Heavey snotty, crying, the shaking. Wow. I was physically shaking throughout this. And so I gathered up my stuff and I knew I had to go. And I went back to my car [00:13:00] and I called my partner at the time. And I said, I think I have to quit. And then the next person after that, I called. Was one of my two bosses at the university. And I told him I needed to have a meeting the next day. And I gave notice the next day. So I am someone who really needed that breakdown experience to shake me out of a situation. That I just wasn't able to leave in an easier way. 

And this happens to a lot of people now for some people it's not like the big embarrassing public breakdown. But it is, uh, perhaps burnout. I work with a lot of people who are on sick leave. 

And it might be something else, right? Maybe you have a different intuition Emissary. That was sent to you to help you get the memo. [00:14:00] 

And so, you know, from that experience, that very hard experience, I learned that. Enduring is overrated. And. I really think pain is almost always there to try to teach us something. 

And very often things get painful. When we're not able to make the changes. Because of, of fear or resistance, and that is a normal human response. And so things have to get a little more intense. This is when, uh, breakdowns. And burnout step in when you need a little push or a big push, because you have so much fear and resistance. It's it's steps in. When something is trying to steer you in a better direction. And don't get me wrong. 

It feels. Awful. It feels fucking awful. But for most [00:15:00] people who I've talked to, who've had this experience and this is true for my experience too. It was both awful and also very necessary. I meet a lot of clients when they're in the breakdown place, when they're in the burnout place. And I work with a lot of people. As I mentioned who were on sick leave, like things have gotten that bad because they just have not up until that point, been able to leave for a whole bunch of reasons. And so they've had this unpleasant experience. That they have needed to shake them out of a bad situation. And that was my experience as well.

So. 

Well, we certainly don't have to think our breakdowns. Or our burnout or whatever intuition, Emissary may have come into your life. We don't have to thank [00:16:00] them.

But I really think it's important that we probably, at the very least. Pay attention to what they're trying to say. 

Because they are trying to say something. 

Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time. 

Hey, Hey, I'm still here. I think that this what I've been talking about today, I think that this is a more empowered way to look at breakdowns and burnout. As experiences that are trying to help. Versus just things that happen. To us. If you have a friend who's struggling, this might be a really good episode to pass along. [00:17:00] 

Thanks for being here. I'll see you next time.