self employment: permission to explore

Sarah Vermunt: [00:00:00] Have you ever had an idea, like a little yearning that starts to bubble up and it feels really exciting. And expansive, but also really scary. So then there's a part of you that, because of that scary feeling, there's a part of you that rushes in and just clamps it down in response to the fear, just shuts down that idea. Before it's even fully formed. This is something that happens for a lot of the people I work with this sort of Seesaw thing that happens between fear and desire. Well today I have something that's going to help you with that. Something to help you feel steadier when you have that push pull feeling between. Fear. And the things you want, so that at least you can give yourself permission to explore those things. This is going to be a good one. Let's go. 

Welcome to Careergasm. [00:01:00] This is a place to help you find your way to feel good. Work. I'm Sarah Vermunt and I help people navigate their careers. I'm a career coach, a best-selling author. And my work has been featured at places like Forbes, Inc entrepreneur, fortune and fast company. On this show, we talk about career navigation and career change. And specifically the human side of work, where the professional is personal. We have heartfelt. Nuanced conversations about navigating your career, including all of the squishy feelings that come along with being a human at work. Thanks for listening. I'm glad you're here. Well, my dears before I jump in today. I feel like I want to give you a little bit of context for some of the work I'm doing right now, because it's really closely related to this idea of giving yourself permission to explore. [00:02:00] For the first time. In the 10 and a half years that I have had. Careergasm my little company. I am helping. So many people, like more than ever, I'm helping so many people. Explore ideas for work that are outside of the boundaries of the traditional nine to five thing. So I've been helping people make career changes for a decade. I continue to love that work, but what's really interesting about my work right now is for whatever reason. And I can't quite put my finger on it, but for whatever reason, 

I would say maybe more than half of my client roster right now. Are people who. Aren't looking for just like a switch to another job. They're looking to create something of their own and do something. Unconventional [00:03:00] to make something. Like I said, that's outside of the boundaries of that traditional nine to five thing. They want to work for themselves. They want to have something inside them that they want to like offer to the world and create very often when I beat them, they are. You know, the ideas are still very much at the half-baked stage, so it's not like it's fully cooked yet. But they've recognized. That there is this yearning. That isn't going away. And trying to stay quote unquote safe. Within the boundaries of a more traditionally corporate career. Hasn't been working for them for various reasons. Maybe, maybe they're less happy than they used to be. Some people are saying that they want to model something different for their children. 

Some people, a lot of the people I work with have gotten like actually literally and physically sick. In the old corporate model. And so they're like, listen, [00:04:00] I'm scared as hell, but something's got to give here. I've got this thing inside of me 

and I don't want to die with this thing still inside of me. So. It's just something interesting that I've noticed that, um, more and more people seem to be. Again, for whatever reason. Giving themselves permission to explore. Those little yearnings that maybe veer into the more unconventional territory. And so for the first time in my work. I have. At this point more clients. Who are wanting to make that kind of career change than ever. 

I got to tell you, I am so fucking psyched about this. I come away from that work. Feeling. Oh man. Like it, like, I feel so full. I feel so excited for these humans who are trying to break free. I [00:05:00] have things that feel bad for them. My my very best days are days when I'm working with clients who bring that kind of energy to our work. To, to feel the fear and to be giving themselves permission to explore. 

Anyway. So I just, I just wanted to share that because it's going to give this conversation. We're having a boat permission to explore a little bit of context. There's something in the air right now where people are like, you know what? I did not come here. To spend 10 hours a day. Uh, hunched over a laptop answering emails. 

That is not what my life is supposed to be about. And I say Bravo to that. But it's hard, right? It's not like, that is a decision that people come to you easily. And so what I want to talk about today is how change actually happens and what actually happens when we have the seed of an idea. And how do we actually nurture [00:06:00] that in a way that still feels safe? 

Right? Because so much of my work is about helping people do the things they want to do, but to do it in a way that feels safe for them. I actually think that's really important. Otherwise you end up feeling paralyzed and you make no progress at all. So. Let's talk about change for a minute and how change actually happens. I think sometimes we forget. That change happens in stages. 

You know, when I was, uh, when I was a teenager in the nineties. There was this magazine. I don't think it's, I don't think it's around anymore, but there was this magazine called 17 magazine and I loved to get it. But at that point in the nineties are really popular. Thing was for these. These make-overs they would do like before and after make-overs and the magazine all the time. That was a big trend. And I loved that. 

I loved the like, you know, sort of like, you [00:07:00] know, the, the person who had sort of like had low confidence and like, you know, wasn't feeling great about themselves. And then flash forward on the very next page, you would see this like beautiful, vibrant, colorful transformation. And it's interesting. 

Sometimes I think. We think about career change that way as well as like a Dowdy before and a glamorous after. And it's something that happens all at once. When you just turn the page. 

And of course that is not how it works. Right. That is something we are often presented with and something that is projected to us is the easy snappy before and after. 

But of course change happens in stages. And so that is helpful for us to remember, not only when making, let's say more traditional career changes, but maybe when you're thinking about. Doing something on your own, exploring an idea of your own, bringing [00:08:00] something to life that hasn't existed before. And doing something outside of the confines of the regular nine to five. 

And so if we know that change happens in stages, We have to make sure we're not trying to do everything all at once. Right. Because I think the reason why we have that feeling of an idea bubbling up, but then, you know, a part of us swooping in and immediately clamping it down is because that's the part of us that feels like we have to know how to do it. 

It's the part of us that feels like we have to know exactly how things are going to turn out. And so it feels safer just to clamp it down. Right. And that's really understandable. That's a really normal human response. But it does prevent us from exploring our desires and from. Uh, exploring our ideas more fully. To get them to the fully cooked stage. 

So if we understand that change happens in stages. I think it is [00:09:00] really important to consciously. Let yourself separate exploring your idea. From deciding about it and doing something about it. And here's why this is something I'm constantly having to remind. The folks I work with about.

If you. Step into the position to. Be making a decision about something. Before the idea is even fully formed. You don't quite know what you're working with yet. So of course, that idea. Feels threatening. And so what I often ask the folks I work with to do. And actually it's not just the folks I work with. 

I have to do this on a regular basis as well. When I'm exploring something new and trying something that feels scary. It's very helpful to separate. Exploring from deciding and doing, because [00:10:00] if you give yourself a phase. Where you say, okay, for the next couple of months, I'm just going to let myself explore this thing. 

Maybe research it, dabble with it, play with my ideas, brainstorm, dream up, something about it. To do all of that stuff and to feel free. It almost in sort of like a little sandbox where you get to play with your ideas. To do that before you put pressure on yourself. To decide if you're going to move forward with it or to feel like you have to start doing the active phase of it. All of a sudden, if you're just allowed to play in the sandbox for a little while. It helps you to think more creatively. 

It helps you to relax into your ideas a little bit more. And that's really important because your ideas won't fully come to life. If you feel like you're under threat the whole time. And very often needing to know how to do something [00:11:00] immediately. And needing to know exactly how things are going to turn out. That's going to stifle that kind of creative thinking that's really necessary at the generative. Ideation phase. 

So very often what I have my clients do, whether they're a lot of the business development clients I'm seeing now, or the more traditional career change clients is. I say to everyone, when we first start working together. I say, this is going to be kind of a soupy organic process at the beginning, and we're not actually going to get into the practical tactical side of things until we have some more clarity around what this thing is and what it looks like and what you actually want. 

And it works so well. 

I am telling you. Just knowing that they don't have to make a decision or do anything. For at least the first, let's say two, three months. Wow. It gives them [00:12:00] permission to explore in a way that they haven't fully given themselves permission. To do yet. So I want to offer that to you as well, regardless of what ideas are coming up for you and your life and your career. Those little whispers, those little yearnings that you would love to develop a little more, but that your fear clamps down. What if you just gave a couple of months to creating a space for yourself where you could explore a little bit more. What if you just went ahead and today in this very moment. Wrote yourself, a permission slip for exploring only this is an exploring only sandbox. 

And I don't have to make any decisions about what I do with this. I don't have to execute anything just yet. I just get to play around in the sandbox. I bet you're going to have a really generative. Very interesting. Couple of months just playing with those ideas. Just being really dreamy about the [00:13:00] things that you want to bring to life. Now, of course, there is a very practical side to this too. You know, you might be listening and thinking, well, that sounds really nice, Sarah. I would love to just play in the sandbox for three months, but like I've got a mortgage. I've got kids to feed. Yeah, of course. You want to keep paying your mortgage? 

You want to keep feeding your kids. And so what most people do when they're in this dreamy, exploratory phase. Is there they're still in their current job while they're doing this. They're just making space. And giving permission for the exploration. Because as we established off the top, Change happens in stages and phases. 

And at least for the folks I work with. The way that that change feels safest for most of them is to start working on the [00:14:00] next thing. Maybe slowly, just in little bits. While you have the safety of your current job. Underneath you. 

Building while you still have a job. And it's interesting. Some people just haven't considered that that's something that they can do. Because we do have this idea of the before and after and the one jump. And when I jumped, that's when I built it, but that's, that's not a super practical way to do things. Most of the people I work with are working their current job while they're building what's next. By the way. 

That's how I built Careergasm too. I was still working as a professor while I was building this. 

Because here's the secret. You're not going to have a ton of clients at the beginning when you launch your business anyway, so you don't need to devote a ton of time to it. It's not like you're going to be swarmed with people [00:15:00] wanting what you have to offer right away. 

So actually this flow from. Your current work container may be in a more traditional nine to five. Into self-employment can actually be quite slow and quite fluid. And it can feel really lovely and safe doing it that way. Maybe taking up to like a whole year to make that transition. It's kind of like the job you have now can be the scaffolding around what you're building next. It can be. The thing that gives you the stability and the support. For what it is you're trying to make. So some of the folks I work with. Well, I know I would say most of the folks I work with almost all of them. I have decided to stay in their current job for a period while they're getting ready to move to something else. 

And while they're doing that [00:16:00] build. Now I have other clients who are in jobs, where they are so miserable, that they, they know, they just can't do that. Like they're like, I will not last another six months here. I will not last another year here. Something's got to give, but then they don't want to put all of that pressure on this new, this brand new baby business that they're trying to create. 

And so. What I offer to those clients is the concept of the, “just for now” job. And a "just for now” job is exactly what it sounds like. It is a job. Just for now, maybe not your dream job, but something to get you out of that job that felt bad. Almost like a bridge to what's next. So it's like a temporary placeholder. For you to still have the stability and the income you need. While you're building what's next and this can feel really freeing. To a lot of people because they don't have to choose between. [00:17:00] Feeling. Uh, unwell in a job that's terrible for them or feeling unsafe in a brand new business that hasn't quite got its legs yet. This bridge this just for now job. It gives them the stability they need. To feel safe. Moving forward while they're building something new. So there are all kinds of ways that you can bridge to what's next. You can stay in the current job. You can get a just for now job. If you happen to be someone who has a bit of a cushion financially. 

Sure. You could use some of that financial cushion, but people do. What they can with the resources they have, and everybody has different resources. But across all of them, for all of these different types of people I work with with all the various resources, they have one thing I have found that across the board is really helpful for them. [00:18:00] Is this idea of. Giving themselves a period where they have permission to explore. Without deciding and doing it.

So. My challenge for you this week is to start. Noticing and allowing the little yearnings to come up. And in that moment where a part of you is tempted to clamp it down. Just ask yourself, could I give myself permission? Just for a little while. To start exploring this without the pressure of having to do anything about it yet. 

And without the pressure of having to decide anything about it yet. And I guarantee. That will just soften some of the edges around your fear and all of a sudden you'll be able to start. Thinking a little more clearly and allowing a little more of that creative juice. To flow in a way that perhaps it [00:19:00] hasn't before. 

Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time.

Sarah Vermunt: Hey, I'm still here. If you feel like I'm talking directly to you directly to your soul. In this episode, I'm going to put two links in the show notes for you. One is a link to a free workshop that I did a free little 45 minute workshop. Just about the little baby beginning stages of starting a business. 

If you've had a yearning to create something of your own, this is going to be a really great resource for you. That I'm also going to include a link for my business development program, biz. Foundations so that you can check that out. If you want to take it further. Thanks for being here. I'll see you next time.